randallg's net.wisdom


Severely Amateur Photography:

Click here for an index of photographic albums of flying in BC and other things...

Written Words

Philosophy in a Nutshell

Value yourself
Value your freedoms
Understand that others are like yourself
Respect others
Respect their freedoms
Help when you can
This will result in the maximum benefit to yourself
This will result in the maximum benefit to others as well
Everyone wins
No god required.

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Evolution and Creationism References

written by real live scientists n stuff

The OJ Trial as told by the Cat in the Hat

From alt.tasteless.jokes - not written by me, just think it's funny (though I don't think it's tasteless at all...)

Path: van-bc!news1.io.org!winternet.com!mr.net!chi-news.cic.net!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!news-e2a.gnn.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail
From: devils1234@aol.com (Devils1234)
Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes
Subject: OJ RHYME..By DR Suess
Date: 28 Feb 1996 01:59:15 -0500
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
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Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com
Message-ID: <4h0ug3$i0u@newsbf02.news.aol.com>
References: <4h0deb$1mj@ranger.interlink.no>
Reply-To: devils1234@aol.com (Devils1234)

The OJ Trial as told by the Cat in the Hat

I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her in the head.
I did not know that she was dead.

I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a cab, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Leave it be!

When I came home I had a gash.
My hand was gashed from broken glass.
I cut my hand upon a glass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.

My friend, he took me for a ride.
All through L.A., from side to side.
>From North to South, we took a ride.
But from the cops, I could not hide.

And now we've been here for a year.
A year! A year! Just sitting here.
The DNA, the hem the haw.
The circus-hype the viewers saw.
A year! A year! Just sitting here!
And lawyers charge by the hour, I fear.

If I'm found guilty, I'll appeal.
Appeal! Appeal! I will appeal!
I'll wheedle and whine; I'll cut a deal!
If it's not guilty, so glad I'll feel.

DID YOU DO THIS AWFUL CRIME?
DID YOU DO IT ANYTIME?

I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not anytime.

DID YOU TAKE THIS PERSON'S LIFE?
DID YOU DO IT WITH A KNIFE?

I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime

DID YOU LEAVE A POOL OF BLOOD?
DID YOU DROP THIS BLOODY GLOVE?

I did not leave a pool of blood.
I can not even wear that glove.
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.

The glove you see it doesn't fit
The lawyer says you must acquit
Acquit because the cops all lied
Acquit, acquit the lawyer cried

I did not do it, so I say
It's not my blood or DNA.

The jury came back verdict in hand
and silence fell across the land
Not guilty, not guilty they did decree
Not guilty, not guilty, now set him free

And now I'm free, I can return
To my house for which I yearn.
And to my family whom I love.
Now would you please return my glove!!

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